Yesterday I found myself feeling more than a little sorrowful that was peppered with a heavy handed double dash of overwhelmed. I was juggling more balls than usual even for me – and that’s saying a lot. Moving is huge. Add to that, I am merging two families, packing up and prepping a new home for Mr T, Sam and me. Mr T also has two older girls who are away at school and at work. It’s a lot. Oh, and I’m working full time. Oh, and Mr T has a small sweet yappy little Chihuahua mix suffering from an acute case of separation anxiety. I am having ‘big’ feelings!! – a phrase I would offer offer up to my pre-verbal daughter when on the verge of a meltdown.
“Mommy can see you’re having BIG feelings.”
Yesterday morning on my way out the door to take Sam to school after the hustle of
- Making breakfast
- Making lunch
- Dressing myself
- Redressing her from gym clothes to formal dress
- Letting out the dogs (plural)
- Then feeding the poor dogs (plural)
Mr T wondered upstairs and casually, accusingly yawned, “Oh, where’s the coffee? Are we out of coffee?” “Babe….are we out of coffee???” I glared at him as I snatched my keys, her lunch box, my tea, her sweater and my hair brush. Thank God I did not say a word… until later.
After dropoff, I took myself for a beach meditation. I needed it and it worked. Calmed and breathing again, I went for a short walk down the beach, in search of…. I don’t know… lovely I guess. Looking down, there it was. Washed up on the beach a mile or so long, were blood red rose petals all along the shoreline. Thousands of red rose petals washed ashore beneath my feet.
Looking up the symbolic meaning of red roses, this was the first definition I found.
“Red roses are given to those who you want to show love and passion, people who you have great respect for, and those who have shown great courage. The quantity can also have a special meaning. A single red rose shows love, a dozen shows gratitude, twenty-five shows congratulations and fifty show unconditional love.”
Thank you God.