Women…..CHOOSE!!!

“Shit…what time is it”?!  Protein! she needs some protein today. Do we have…..sausages???? YES!!!  Sausages for breakfast. …

Rocket Showers….

But I cannot hold my breath forever, I must release this already-gone moment before I pass with it unto the retreating void.  Instead I witness the…

Moon Walk

The full moon on Friday was glorious!  Big and round and full to bursting, flaunting her shameless crimson orb, she dripped and dropped her moist d…

Trini Hot Chocolate

As a child my Tante Una would make me hot chocolate. She made her own chocolate for cocoa formed on a dark rich ball which she would grate into boi…

I Wish….

As I joyfully await the surprises promised by my family in tribute of the one day that is dedicated to the ceaseless, often thankless other 364 day…

Desert Road

There is a great beauty hidden in the desert that is slowly revealing itself to me. I’m an island girl. I do not like the desert. It feels fo…

Desert Sky

There is beauty in the desert that I have never before seen. I don’t like the desert. I don’t know what to do with it. I am a daughter …

Full Moon

Sated at last, she rose from his bed. Full to bursting in her scarlet wantonness, she begins her lazy saunter, still dripping his love from every c…

oxtails
Aunt Una’s Oxtails

This is my Aunt Una’s oxtail recipe which I have modified over the years. I have had a 15 year vegetarian fall off the wagon after smelling t…

Black Love

The mainstream perception of the ‘angry black woman’ and the ‘brutish black man’ does not equate with black men and black w…

Black Beauty

Wide hips,  and pillow soft lips, Almond eyes… envelop me thighs Nappy hair,  all pressed and curled Fling yo weaves or twists and rolls Her …

Intentions

Setting an intention is a powerful thing. I sometimes forget that the intention I set directly determines not only the outcome but my experience.  …

Black Pussy Matters

My pussy did not wake up last Saturday morning, put on a pointy pink pussy hat, jump on a train to downtown, to march in the Women’s March. M…

Thank You

Thank you for all for your kind words of sympathy in the wake of my Aunt Pat’s passing. You have touched my heart. Death is such an integral part o…

needlepoint
The Winds of Change

The winter winds have come once again whipping through the canyon, howling and moaning,  my tinkling chimes bludgeoned into terrified alarms. I hav…

Giving Thanks

When my daughter was three and it was time to teach her to pray, I reached back to my own childhood only to be horrified by the prayers that were t…

Crossroads

WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!     Sweet Jesus! Look what we have Spawned!!!!!  The PEOPLE have Spoken….and We are …

the sea
Time and Breath

A few days ago at work, a lovely young woman came up to me and demurely asked, “Miss Toussaint, what advice would you give someone like me? H…

Moving

One deep breath……….. away from tears. I feel it deep down in my belly, the aching, bilious retching of release  – helpless …

The Room In Between

Secrets and Lies. A lie between two people is like a vacant room yawning between two occupied ones. You stand in the doorway across the precipice s…

Mom, I’m Fine

My daughter’s first day of preschool was one of the worst days of my motherhood life. She was 3 years old, fully potty trained (which was the…

Buddha
I Miss My Friend

I miss my friend. As my brain struggles with not struggling against the reality that my friend is dead…that he has fled to a place, a realm b…

beach
Sacred Appointments

There are no accidents in life or in death. I rose to muffled voices in the next room. Still tired from the night before, the day before, the week …

boxer shorts
Men

I am 56 years old, been married once (maybe twice), and will probably attempt it, well… thrice. Being single for the last 15 years, and happi…

Home

The water balloon of emotions in my gut, bloated with sadness and grief and an odd numbing exhaustion, may be as close as I get to accepting the un…

Go to the Water

When Sam and I lived in New York City last year we fell in love with that city. For her, it was first love: fresh and new, filled with wonder and p…

East River Ferry
East River Ferry

Sam and I were in New York City last week and since our preferred mode of navigating that city is by boat, believe it or not, we found ourselves gl…

New York Ferry
Ferry Crossing

Recuerdo by: Edna St. Vincent Millay We were very tired, we were very merry- We had gone back and forth all night on the ferry. It was bare and bri…

Honey Do Breakfast

2 eggs or egg whites Chopped zucchini Chopped onions Chopped tomatoes Chopped peppers Sharp Cheddar Cheese 2 teaspoons of curry Pinch of basil 1/4 …

Samara’s Summer Salad

Samara decided to make this delicious salad inspired by a dish she had at a cafe in New York. It is a salad perfect for very tiny fingers to make. …

NASCAR, racing,
SCREAMING!!!

May I recommend screaming?  It is an excellent form of release on many levels. I mean really screaming, like I did yesterday. I was invited to Las …

Higher Mama, Higher

Playdate is a newly invented word. My mother never took me on playdates. Instead she’d shoo me out from underfoot with, “child go outsi…

Got Your Back Mom
Circling the Teepee

One of the biggest surprises about motherhood revealed itself immediately after my daughter was born. The Native Americans have a term referred to …

feet flowers
Butterflies and Chimes….

In the course of a life, there are soul encounters so quietly profound they defy denial. I stand in awe of the amazing women who presently people m…

legos
Lego Hell

The job of a mother is often a thankless one. It is 1:13 a.m. Again. I’m tired and should be in bed. Tomorrow is the proverbial school day. S…

Cussing Jar
Son of a Bitch!!!!!!

“Son of a bitch! Come here you son of a bitch!” “What did you say, Lorraine ?” my mother calmly asked, leaning out the kitc…

bruschetta
Bruschetta Fresh and Simple

Whole wheat bread slices 1 tbsp unsalted butter Cut bread slices into points Pan fry in butter to golden brown 3 cups cherry tomatoes (halved) 5 garli…

Caring for the Aged
Lovely Anger

With both parents now deceased, my aged Aunt Pat is the only living relative left on my mother’s side. As you may remember from my Christmas …

Truth or…..do you Dare???

  The older I get the more I revere kindness. It is the quality I look for in all personal interactions. It is the litmus test for accepting o…

Live It Out Loud
Live It Out LOUD!!!!!

I went to the Essence Women in Hollywood Luncheon yesterday where Tracee Ross _who is a comedic goddess in my estimation - received an award. Her spee…

Lemons
More Lemon, Please

“Do not go gentle into that good night….” I found out today a friend of mine is dying. Not like we’re all eventually dying …

Black History

I was called a nigger for the first time last year in Williamsburg, New York. As my car pulled out of a parking spot, a bicyclist rode by and screa…

Kid Valentines
Beyond Reason

In many ways, my daughter is literally my first love. Motherhood came late for me and was a very conscious choice. I wanted to know, in my bones, a lo…

Chocolate Lover
Pleasure Yourself

The Greeks call it Eros, from whence we derive the word 'erotic.' This is the passionate, physical, sensual, consensual, hot between the sheets kind o…

Chocolate

I think God, in her infinite wisdom, looked upon us women and said, "Sweet Jesus!! How much crap are women expected to bear?! " Let's start with child…

paintings
Awe

This morning I went to a funeral. In my customary white, I quietly attended a “celebration of life” gathering for my friend Karen, who …

side dish
Fried Plantains Sweet Side Dish

Ripe Plantains- It is best to choose plantains with black spots on the skin and soft to the touch Sun Flower Oil Peel ripened plantains Cut into diago…

Packing List
Travel

I hate leaving my daughter when I have to travel for work. I just hate it. I can feel the anxiety starting to rise a week before the date and as th…

Beautiful View
Hair Dye and Hormone Cream

God help me. I have dyed my hair for the first time. I am a 55-year-old woman and I have never dyed my hair. Oh my God! I feel absolutely panicked …

Alfred Bean

Alfred Bean arrived on our doorstep four Christmases ago. It was Christmas Eve to be exact, and as we all know, Santa’s elves always deliver live a…

Who’s the Grown Up?

I’m an ‘old school-new school’ Mom. I have a saying. “If my daughter isn’t mad at me at least three times a day, I must be doing something wrong.” …

Promises, Promises

A new year begins today. And though I categorically do not believe in time, this day does predicate one of the more useful human markers in the ete…

Birds and Waves
Time

Time. Such a non-real thing. Can’t see it, touch it, stop it, taste it… Burrs on my walk through a peaceful wood Attaching themselves to my socks, my …

Breathing Sacks
Breathing Sacks

Since my daughter was an infant, whenever she got a cold and had trouble breathing, this is the breathing sack I made for her. I have since made this …

Malibu Sunset
Hallelujah Horizon

This is my favorite time of day. Golden light. The horizon ablaze as if the hills were on fire. The third of temperatures in the 90’s. Desperately I h…

Rain

There are three people in this world who call me Rain. I do not much like nicknames and moreover, I find they have never suited me. As a child, I hate…