Hair Dye and Hormone Cream

God help me. I have dyed my hair for the first time. I am a 55-year-old woman and I have never dyed my hair. Oh my God! I feel absolutely panicked and scared and discombobulated. Why!!??? Why do I have such anxiety about this? My cousin, Denise, gave me a bottle of dark brown hair dye a year ago and it’s been sitting in my bathroom drawer for months. Every time I lose an eye shadow, a blush brush, or I am frantically searching for that prayed for, “please, God let it be there,” pink razor to shave my legs, or other parts (OK, that’s a whole other story. We’ll talk about that later). I see this bottle of dark brown hair dye with a pair of surgical gloves in a Ziploc bag. Gee, whiz! I am…I am getting old now. No! No! Fight! Fight for the dying light! Not for the dyeing brown, the dying light! Have I come to this? I look in the mirror and I’m beginning to see old. What is that? I don’t feel old. I don’t think old. I don’t think I look old. Well, not too old. But, when I see this face, this face that I’m so acquainted with, rimmed with squiggly little gray hairs, I swear that I start… I think I’m starting to look old. I don’t consider myself an overly vain person. But, damn. This shit has got to go! I do not like these little gray hairs!

Ok, my phone just rang and it was the compound pharmacy from Beverly Hills. They need a new credit card to process my hormone cream. Oh, dear God! Somebody get me a fucking fan! Hormone cream! And then, can we talk about menopause? Well, we will indeed talk about menopause. My now 11-year-old daughter says, “My mom has ‘The Menopause.’” Like it’s the flu…and with enough fluids, rest and progesterone, I’ll feel right as rain in a week. Most days I’m really OK with the idea of aging gracefully. But, I swear…today…with this black goo dripping down my forehead, staining it permanently…as well as my good white towels…the very real fear that I’m almost out of hormone juice is probably kicking in. I think nothing about this moment feels lovely today. Nothing.

And yet, I look out my window and it’s one of those crystal clear, sparkling blue skyBeautiful View and turquoise water days, and I think, even if I don’t feel lovely at this moment, gosh, there’s lovely all around me. Everywhere I look. And in this moment of dripping dye and drying nails and unshaven parts, a chuckle escapes my lips. And here is the arrival of lovely. And today, that’ll do.

 

 

7 Comments
  1. So I’m looking at you on TV right now and its the first time I hear of Lovely by Lorraine and it wasn’t until you said the words .com that I realize that its a website, So I go there immediately as I am and I absolutely love your Blog. I read the one about the hair dye and menopause and it was hysterical. I bookmarked it and I will continue to follow you.I’ve always loved your work and I am proud to be represented by such a beautiful Caribbean woman. Thank you for reminding us of the “Lovely”. May God continue to bless you and all that you hold dear.

    1. Hey Edna,
      Thank for your lovely response to my website. I am at the age where I have nothing to hide, and no reason to pretend. It makes sharing with you a joyous, humbling, freeing experience. I so welcome your comments!!
      Blessings….
      Lorraine

  2. Love it, I turn 41 this year and I’m with you I do not feel old but it is coming. I’ve only dyed my hair 3x and its all been within the past 3 years, and it still scares me, aaaaahhhh! You are beautiful sister and I appreciate and love your site. And it reminds me that lovely is everywhere. Thank you!

    1. Oh MJ, Lovely really is everywhere, and I firmly believe we find what we are looking for. There is so much power and freedom in that. Then we get to make real choices…and why not choose Lovely. Yeah. Thanks for responding. I truly appreciate you comments.

      Lorraine

  3. I find the most humorous part of my day….is when I take a step back, take a good look at myself. I find myself OVER reacting to things that really deserve no reaction at all!
    Hilariously LOVELY.

    1. One of the best gifts I give myself is to not take myself terribly seriously. WE are all making it up as we go along and doing the best we can. It helps if we go easy on ourselves sometimes and laugh at the absurdity of it all.
      Keep laughing….. Lorraine

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>